I always feel bad for my husband on Valentines Day. We have been together for a very, very, very, very, very long time now and he still has such a hard time trying to find a gift for me. Admittedly, I am somewhat difficult to buy for, but the biggest reason that he has a hard time is because he can’t seem to let go of what the media says he should get me for Valentines Day. Poor thing, he really thinks that he needs to get me something grandiose, a gift bigger than life, and that if he can’t get me what he thinks the media tells him I deserve he….well, frankly, he gives up. And I end up with gas station roses and cashews. Why cashews? I don’t know. They must have been next to the $5.99/dozen roses.
Bless his heart, he really wants to get me diamonds. We can’t afford diamonds (our daughter is in college and our boys are in every sport known to man) and I honestly don’t want diamonds. I have a lovely diamond in my wedding ring and I still have the little diamond speck earrings he gave me when we were dating – the diamonds that I have now are all that I will ever need (unless we win the lottery and join a country club).
He used to buy me a dozen roses. They were lovely. I loved the thought behind the gesture and I was grateful that he bought them for me. But part of me (the part of me that knew what our budget was) wished that he didn’t spend so much money on flowers (I am not talking about the gas station roses right now – right now I am referring to the ridiculously expensive roses that are actually delivered by a florist) that really weren’t my favorite. If you are wondering, my favorite are actually white tulips, and you can pick up a beautiful bouquet of them quite cheaply at our local year round farmers market. White tulips would have been perfect, but, again, the media tells my poor husband that if he really loves me he must spend $100 on a bouquet of roses that will die within the week.
He also went through an expensive, fancy chocolate phase. Why? Because the commercials told him to buy them for me. Like I don’t already have enough guilt when I eat chocolate! Now I have to have my normal chocolate guilt PLUS the guilt of knowing that with each bon bon I pop into my mouth we will be one more payment behind to the orthodontist? Just kidding, we are in good standing with our orthodontist. Dove chocolates with caramel are perfectly fine for me.
Lingerie. That is all I care to share on lingerie.
My point is this: my husband, along with many other husbands out there, are buying into the media’s idea of what is romantic and feeling pressure to conform to that ideal. It is totally unnecessary. I am married to a wonderful man and together we are raising three wonderful kids. He tells me he loves me every day, without fail, and works very hard to provide for his family. That is romantic. But you don’t see that on a commercial.
Do you know what else is romantic? I have a list.
1. Vacuuming my car.
2. Cleaning the dog bowls for me.
3. Programming the coffee maker so it is ready for me first thing in the morning.
4. Answering the phone when his Dad calls.
5. Cleaning the baseboards (totally makes me SWOON!)
I would be perfectly content with any of the above ‘gifts’ accompanied by an index card with a simple “I love you” written on it. Truly. If he happens to read this post, maybe I will get one or more of the items on my wish list.
In case he doesn’t, I have a back up plan. I had to come up with a back up plan or I would be doomed to receiving gas station roses and cashews for life. I send him my Amazon.com wish list. He’s happy. I’m happy. That’s romance.
Lori is a content writer for Discount Party Supplies. She is married with three kids and hosts many family gatherings and parties. In her free time, Lori enjoys taking yoga classes and in her secret life she likes going to heavy metal concerts (but don’t tell the other soccer moms!)
