Hosting Thanksgiving dinner for a large group can be overwhelming…but it doesn’t have to be.  I have been hosting our family Thanksgiving dinners for many years and I have finally learned how to enjoy hosting a holiday that used to fill me with dread. I remember my very first Thanksgiving dinner. I was absolutely terrified. What if the turkey was dry? What if my pie crust wasn’t flaky enough? What if my gravy had lumps? I was so worried about every little detail that I truly didn’t enjoy what should have been a wonderful day spent with family and friends.

So what changed? How did I go from being a stressed out hostess to a happy hostess? The menu didn’t change, the date didn’t change, the guests didn’t change……I changed. I was worried about all the small details and forgetting the bigger picture. Think about the very first Thanksgiving. Everybody brought something to the feast, it wasn’t a dinner party hosted by one Pilgrim woman working alone! Once I realized that and let go of some of my “control issues”, and started to focus on what was really important about the day,  Thanksgiving once again became a holiday that I looked forward to hosting.

So now I focus on doing what I love to do for the holiday and delegate the things that I don’t enjoy so much (or that I am not good at!).  I like to spend time making sure my house is ready for guests…scented candles, fall wreaths, gourds displayed, and other typical seasonal decorating that we all do.  One of my favorite things to spend time on is decorating the Thanksgiving table, making sure that it looks festive and pretty, setting the mood for a relaxing meal. These things bring me joy and put me in the right mood to welcome friends and family to our home.

To reduce the stress of pulling together the “big meal” I do as much as possible ahead of time. In fact, my entire meal (except the turkey) is prepared the day before. This way I can spend time enjoying the company of my loved ones rather than spending the whole day in the kitchen. I still make the turkey, the potatoes, the gravy, the corn pudding, the green bean casserole and the cranberry relish but the rest of the food is “delegated”. For example, my mom makes the stuffing. I find stuffing intimidating (mine will never be as good as hers) and she enjoys making it so it works out very well. I don’t like to bake so I delegate the rolls. My brother is usually in charge of desserts so I don’t have any pie crust angst to worry about anymore. My sister enjoys making appetizers so she is in charge of that.

Sharing the workload adds to the tradition of the day for our family.  My kids know that Nana always makes her stuffing and they know that we always have the fabulous dinner rolls from Darryl’s restaurant (it is the only day of the year that we get them).  They look forward to these rituals being repeated every year, knowing that it is part of our family’s special way of celebrating. Another tradition that my kids love that I do for them each year involves “kid wine”.   Kid wine is really just sparkling grape juice, a simple thing that they look forward to.  When they were little and drinking out of sippy cups, they got “kid wine” for Thanksgiving dinner served in real wine glasses. Granted, they were chunky, sturdy little wine glasses but they loved it.  They haven’t used sippy cups in years but the novelty of the “kid wine” still hasn’t worn off for any of them.  I can’t imagine a Thanksgiving without it.

I’ll admit, I still worry about the turkey….will it be dry? But I let that go, too. That’s what gravy is for, right?

The secret to hosting a stress free Thanksgiving dinner is simple. Plan ahead, be organized, allow yourself to put your energy into doing what you love for the people you love and delegate some of the things that you don’t like to do or don’t have time to do.  I can honestly say that I now enjoy Thanksgiving and for that I am truly thankful.

Lori is a content writer for Discount Party Supplies.  Lori is married with three kids and hosts many family gatherings, holidays, and parties.  In her free time, Lori enjoys taking yoga classes and in her secret life she enjoys going to heavy metal concerts (but don’t tell the other soccer moms!).