Weddings.
A place where people come to celebrate the union of two of their friends/family. A place where people can enjoy an open bar. A place where people can dance embarrassingly because, well, that’s just what people do. There’s nothing more entertaining than Aunt Judy “shuffling” to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” There’s nothing more sappy than two former college classmates dancing and singing along with Whitney’s high note to “I Will Always Love You.” There’s nothing better than watching all of your co-workers singing along to Rupert Holmes’s “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).”Or so you would think…
While these three songs are great songs on their own (and in certain cases, together…but that’s another story), there is a theme here; These songs should never be played at weddings. Never. Never. Never.
Now before you go ahead and flame me because “Jim has a bad taste for music,” or “Jim doesn’t know what makes people want to dance,” or, “Jim. You’re dumb,” hang on for a moment. Lemme explain.
While nothing gets me on the dance floor quicker than the foot tapping sound of an over-produced disco tune, “I Will Survive” is not a song that should be played at weddings. It’s a song about a jilted lover that says, “I can make it on my own. I don’t need you.” Sure, when you’re dancing, sometimes you don’t think about the words. You just feel the “nnn-tss, nnn-tss, nnn-tss” (say it…you’ll get what I mean). But when the lovely bride belts out at the top of her lungs, “Go on now go walk out the door, just turn around now,” there’s something to behold.
Cue cringes now.
See what I mean? No? All right, case number 2…
You ask, “Why not Whitney?” She’s telling someone “I will always love you.” From an outsider’s point of view, that is correct. Skip ahead.
“So, goodbye. Please don’t cry. We both know I’m not what you…you need”.
Ahhh…there’s the rub.
Point made yet? Nope? Well give me another shot…
My wife and I have argued about one song for the past 20 years. We all know it. We’ve sung it around a table at the bar. We’ve had people look at us funny as they drive by us and we’re singing it at the top of our lungs with the windows closed. We’ve used a scrub brush as a microphone around the house while pretending we’re the hunky Rupert Holmes. Okay. Maybe I’m the only one, but you have to give me credit; He was hunky. And oh, he could sing. ”Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” is one of the most popular tunes of all time and everyone knows the words. Everyone also knows that this is a song about a gentleman who was stuck in a dead end relationship and decided to put out a “Looking For Miss Right” ad in the paper. (Heck, think of the money and time he could have not wasted if Facebook, Twitter and texting were available in the late 70′s). This is why I won’t play “Escape” at a wedding. Nothing like letting the bride and groom know that one day, it could be them. Oh, I mentioned that my wife and I have arguments over this song. I believe it’s a song about someone sneaking around. I can only imagine the feeling of “Oh, no” that ran through his head when he saw his “Old Lady” walk into the cafe. My wife, Kelli, believes that it’s a song about two people finally getting to figure out what they want/like in life. And I’ll be darned; It’s themselves.
Here’s a few more quick examples of songs that should not be played at wedding receptions.
Kanye West – “Golddigger”
I really don’t think I have to put the lyrics in, but here’s a glaring example of a great dance song that should not be played at a wedding reception.
“(She give me money)
Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke, broke (She steal me money)”
Queen – “Another One Bites The Dust”
Once again, a great rock song that would normally fill the floor at any given party, but must be kept on the “Sorry, I don’t have this song” if requested at a wedding.
“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him when he’s down
But I’m ready, yes I’m ready for you”
Oh Freddie Mercury, how I love thee. However, I think I’ll just stick with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” when someone requests some Queen. It’s a crowd pleaser (and usually a MotB favorite!).
The Clash – “Should I Stay Or Should I Go”
Oh, this one is tough for me, even as a stodgy old wedding DJ. If by chance that this one sneaks in to the playlist, it’s because everyone is having too much fun (read – had too much wine) to really know what this song is about. We all know it. It’s a great dance tune! Almost 30 years later, this song still has the legs to get people to use theirs on the floor. However…
“Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An’ if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know”
I Think we’ve all been there, but just not on the “first day of the rest of our lives.”
The Police – “Every Breath You Take”
“Since you’ve gone I’ve been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around but it’s you I can’t replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep calling baby, baby please…”
As read on another blog, the point was made; “Wait. what? Stalker songs aren’t good wedding songs?”
My last post is possibly the most obvious of them all. Brides, when thinking of songs to dance with your father and you enjoy country music, don’t grab the first song that says “Daddy” in the title. Here’s why…
Toby Keith – “Who’s Your Daddy”
“Hey here you come knockin’ on my door baby
Tell me what you got on your mind
I guess those college boys all went home for the summertime
Yea you’re lookin right, lookin good, lookin like a woman should”
Need I continue? I didn’t think so.
The defense rests. I have made my case and I hope that you will side with me and give the DJ a funny look the next time you’re at a wedding and you hear any of these songs.
Oh…and don’t even get me started on “The Macarena.”
