Hello.  My name is Jim (Hi Jim!) and I have been a wedding DJ for almost 20 years.  Whew.  That felt good to get off of my chest.  I am currently in a 3-step program to accept the fact that I play the “Chicken Dance”, “The Hokey Pokey” and “Dancing Queen” for a living.  The first step is now complete; acknowledgement.  There is a good chance that I will complete the other 2 steps over the course of these posts.  What are the other 2 steps, you ask?  I don’t know.  A Wedding DJ mentor of mine told me that I would know them when I see them.  I’m pretty sure they will come to me the minute I stop playing “Thriller” at weddings.

Enjoy the ride.  Now where are the complimentary cookies and coffee that were promised to me for showing up to this meeting?…

• AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long”

• Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September”

• Brooks & Dunn “Boot Scootin’ Boogie”

• Bobby Darin’s “More”

I would imagine if you have some late 70’s/early 80’s Power Rock on your iPod, you probably don’t listen to 70’s disco.

On the same hand, if you’re a wanna-be 50’s hipster, you more than likely do not have much (if any) late 90’s line-dancing country music.

If you do, I tip my hat (fedora, 10-gallon, beanie or flamboyantly feathered top hat) to you.

This article goes out to the people who do not have the aforementioned eclectic set list on “shuffle.”

This article goes out to the people who constantly second guess the Wedding DJs choice of music.  Yeah.  You.  You know I’m talking to you.

You’re the person who was on the floor doing the “Cha Cha Slide” and wonder why the wedding DJ started playing “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”  You’re the first person to come up to the Wedding DJ and say “Why ain’t you playing nothin’ good?”  You’re the first person to throw out the “Hey.  I know the bride and she wants you to play X.”  Guess what.  There’s a good chance that everyone at the wedding “knows” the bride.  The wedding DJ has heard it all before.  I’ll touch base on each of these points as I ramble on (attempting to not have flashbacks of the groomsman who has DJ’d a couple of house parties and attempts to get behind the booth.  I hate that guy.).

A good wedding DJ lives by two rules; 1) Don’t upset the bride.  This is the golden rule.  It’s her day.  She’s paying you and if she’s upset, everyone else is upset and there goes any chance of a good recommendation from her.  Rule number 2); You can’t please all the people all the time.   You need to spend the evening upsetting as few people as possible, while making it look like you’re attempting to make everyone happy.  Simple as that.

2 rules.

If by chance you play a lot of music that the bride hates, I’d suggest another profession/hobby of yours.  Maybe telemarketer.  That way you can upset a lot of people without having to personally witness their wrath.

A good wedding DJ will ask certain questions to the Bride (while not letting the Groom feel he is getting left out of the equation.  We DJs know who wears the pants prior to the reception.) regarding music to be played at the reception.

A great wedding DJ will know if a Bride’s favorite group is The Bee Gee’s, the DJ will be able to get away with playing Abba, KC and The Sunshine Band and pretty much anything off of the “Studio 54” Soundtrack.

A good wedding DJ will ask the Bride “What kind of music do you listen to”.

A great wedding DJ will be able to talk about the latest album of the Bride’s favorite group.

A good wedding DJ will have a list of songs that he/she plays at every wedding, knowing it’s safe.

A great wedding DJ will have that same list, but not be afraid to change things up when an oddball request comes in from the mother of the bride.  A great wedding DJ will know when to play Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight.”.  Certainly that song should not be played directly after Rick James’s “Super Freak” and then followed with The Violent Femme’s “Blister In The Sun.”  Keep this in mind when looking for a wedding DJ.

Rule 1

Don’t upset the bride.  Along with knowing all of her favorite music (oh, and some of the groom’s music.  Gotta keep him feeling like he’s in the loop.), a great wedding DJ will spend hours learning last names.  Trust me;  That’s made me stumble a few times.  “The Q is silent in Jiqm’s name, Mr. DJ.”  (Why in the heck would you put a Q in a name if it’s not going to be pronounced?!?!?!)

Lesson learned.

Rule 2.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time.  Well, that’s true in many of life’s follies.  From which prime-time television show the family can enjoy to which shots should be purchased after the big win by your favorite local sports team.  Some (and at times, most) people will be happy, but there’s always “those guys.”  The people who feel that unless you’re making them happy, they’re going to go out of their way to make everyone else unhappy.  Yup.  Those guys.

At weddings, there are multiple versions of “Those Guys.”  Here are a few;

The “I Know The Bride” Those Guys.  No matter how full the dance floor is, the “I Know The Bride” guy will not necessarily complain about the music, but pull their idea of a trump card to get you to play their song.  There’s a good chance that I already know what the bride wants and doesn’t want.  Even tho you and the bride may have listened to some 2 Live Crew while back in college, I’m pretty sure she is not going to want it played at the wedding.  Executive Decision made by the DJ.  Oh, and getting a groomsman to come up and request the same song doesn’t work either.  Just sayin’.

The “I’ve DJ’d Some House Parties” Those Guys.  I mentioned I hate these guys.  Well, that might be a little strong.  You can see these guys right off the bat.  While the DJ is attempting to scan the crowd to see what people are dancing to (and what they’re NOT dancing to), these guys are simply watching the DJ.  The DJ catches their stares out of the corner of his eyes.  Once eye contact is finally made, The “Ive DJ’s Some House Parties” guy feels it’s an invitation to stand behind the booth.  Guess what?  It never is.  However, the scenario always works out this way;

(Him) “Dude.  You’re playing some pretty good music, but I know what these people will dance to.”

(Me) “Cool”

(Him) “Yeah.  I had control of the iPod in the limo on the way here and we were all loving it.  Maybe you should play…”

(Me)  “I’ll see what I can do.”

(Him)  “No, really.  You gotta play it.  The bride loves this song.”  (Uh, oh.  We’re starting to get the combination of Those Guys here.)

(Me) “Tell you what.  I’ll find a good set in which I’ll see if that song can work.  In the mean time, could you get me a beer?”

And, that’s where it usually ends.  I get a beer and he feels he was able to bribe the DJ.  Guess what?  The song didn’t get played and I probably won’t hear from that guy for the rest of the night.  Probably.

The “Relatives of the Bride and Groom” Those Guys.  Where do I start?  There’s a fine line between making the bride and groom happy and making their relatives happy.  A 3rd cousin, twice removed requesting a song that won’t work is easier to ignore than the Father of the Bride.  (The Mother of the Bride is not in this equation.  She sits right up there with the bride and groom)  More than likely, the FotB (Father of the Bride) is paying for the reception.  He is due some respect.  More often than not, the FotB gets his way with music requests.  Where I’ll draw the line is when the FotB and his cronies want the microphone 5 vodka gimlets later.

Oh, the mic hogger.  I forgot about “Those Guys”, but I think I’ll save them for another post.

While the FotB and MotB are exclusions, cousins are usually fair game for exclusion to odd song requests.  Also, be aware of the cousin who “listens to a lot of music and knows what the kids like.”  That wraps up all three of “Those Guys” and can be spotted a mile away.  I never make eye contact.

Wedding DJs have a heck of a time trying to keep everyone from being too upset with the music choices.  Usually, when the bride and groom are having fun, the rest of the group is having fun.  I always keep rule number 1 in check, and then that’ll make rule number 2 easier to keep in place.

Keep these things in mind when looking for a wedding DJ, or when you are second-guessing the wedding DJ’s music choices.  It ain’t easy.  But it can also turn out to be the best night of some people’s lives.

The four songs I posted at the top of the list are songs that I always play at weddings.  They are 4 songs that appeal to 4 different groups of listeners, but most people love them.

But when I get a handful of “Those Guys” spending way too much time complaining, I’ll slip this in;

• The Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

By the way, I just heard last call.  It’s time to wrap this up.  ‘Till next time…

Jim is the owner/operator of HepCat DJ's in the greater Lansing area. He is also a full time father to two beautiful little girls and a full time husband to Kelli.Jim has a face made for radio. You can follow him on Twitter (@hepcatdj) and Facebook (DJJimbo).

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